Caedmon and I got sick.
A head cold.
Normally not a big deal, always thankful for a cold over a stomach flu. This one seemed to hold on for days and days and days. Stuffy noses, tired eyes, achy bodies, interrupted sleep. I rarely take medicine but actually broke down and begged Adam to bring some Sudafed home.
Glory! Hallelujah! I could sleep!
Caedmon seemed to be getting better too. There were less dirty tissues to search for around his bed in the mornings. He seemed to be sleeping better. He had more energy. We sent him back to school.
Then he started complaining about headaches. Oh dear Lord! As every parent of a child with hydrocephalus and a shunt understands, as soon as you hear the words, 'Mommy, my head hurts!' your stomach tightens and you start going through the mental list of shunt malfunction. Usually Caedmon gets headaches when he's coming down with a virus, not finishing up one, so it couldn't be that.
Oh no!
We've had this shunt since he was two months old, he just turned 8. He's due. I know some people who have had 10 or 20 shunt revisions in short life spans. The luck is turning!
We sent him to school. It seemed like the headaches were going away. I stopped by his school to take care of his needs, he looked miserable. He couldn't focus, couldn't sit still. 'My head hurts, Mom!'
I popped him in the car, called work to tell them I wouldn't be in, called Adam for the neuro's number he has saved in his phone (yeah, I need to change that), brought Caedmon home to rest while we waited to hear from neuro. As I was trying to make him comfortable, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and asked, 'Mom, am I dying?'
Sucker punch to the gut.
I assured him that we would figure out what was going on and take care of it and he would be better soon.
I then had a brilliant thought that you probably already had in reading this: I needed Sudafed every day of the last 6 days, I never gave Caedmon any kind of decongestant. Ah ha!
It's been two solid days of giving him regular decongestant and this afternoon he finally said, 'Hey! My head doesn't hurt anymore!'
Okay. We can breathe again. Breathe into that knot in our stomachs. Let all the tension out of our necks. Allow God to give us that peace we've been pushing away.
Every time we go through this circus we learn a few more things, find more solid footing for the next time, learn a little more about Caedmon's body and how it operates and what it needs. By the time he's 40, we should be really, really good at this.
