Truth, it'll getcha every time

Now that Asher's schedule is more predictable it's become easier to incorporate regular family life into his day to day routine.  One thing we love to do is to have a little family worship time every evening.  It can be a short Bible story, some kind of object lesson using play items around the house, time around the fire in the backyard, a song, in other words we try to mix it up a bit.  We always end the time with a short prayer, praying for anyone we know of who needs a little extra at the time.

The last few nights, when I've asked if anyone would like to pray, Damek has gotten really excited, 'Me, me, me, me!'

And then he prays a beautiful prayer . . . for Asher.

Last nights prayer went something like this: Dear God, please bless Asher.  Help him to grow really strong and full of love.  Amen.

A little later as I was rocking Asher to sleep, I kept thinking about that prayer and repeating it, agreeing with it, asking God to really touch our little Asher.  It suddenly struck me really hard that I have not prayed over Asher the way I have prayed over Caedmon and Damek.  I have prayed for him, I do every night when I rock him, and I have definitely prayed through every hospital stay, but not in the same way.

Why is that, I asked myself.

Could it be that in my mind Asher's future is so murky because of his disability that I don't know what or how to pray for him?  Could it be that I am not expecting much because I don't want to be disappointed with what that future is?

Gah!  How could I, his mother, the mother of TWO children with disabilities, have bias or prejudice while praying?!  Of course, prayer has an amazing way of showing us what is really in our hearts, drawing it out into the light.

Isn't that how self discovery works though?  Being open enough to realize the dark places in you so you can allow light to shine on them, then they are not so dark anymore and they can be worked on?

I'm very grateful for my children.  For the unbiased love they have for one another, for their openness to God, and for the way they show me myself, ugly and good.

And, God BLESS Asher, every aspect of his life.  May he grow to be the man that You created him to be.  Help me to be the best possible mother for him so that he can be more than I ever hoped or imagined.  Amen.