Sunday, February 26, 2012
Behind My Incredible Boys Is An Amazing Father
I have learned so much about parenting and about accepting the cards life has handed me by watching my husband. From the moment they sent me out the door of the hospital with my firstborn, and all the fear was rising up inside me wondering what in the world I would do with this tiny little thing, Adam has stepped up and grasped the role of Father with both hands.
Our firstborn had colic for his first four months of life. For four months Damek would not sleep longer than two hours at a time and would only fall asleep if we bounced him while standing up. It was exhausting. It was difficult. It would have been impossible if Adam had not shared in the load. He offered to take every other awake time so we could both get a small chunk of uninterrupted sleep. He was vastly more patient than I was and kept us laughing in spite of the pain.
Our second came along with many more complications than mere colic. Caedmon was born with a team of doctors and nurses waiting for him, whisked away to a separate hospital, and was in surgery within two hours of birth. Adam did not leave his side until the surgeon came to take him and was waiting for him the second he was placed in recovery. He asked to be the one to go to myriad medical appointments, clinics and procedures. Multiple times the medical staff would comment with surprise that the father was there. "We never see the fathers!" they would say. The first few weeks of Caedmon's life, when I was struggling with my emotions at his obvious deformities, the stress of his seemingly neverending procedures, and new baby adaptation, I would see Adam treating Caedmon with total love, devotion and acceptance. That dedication got me through many long nights.
And now that our little Asher has joined us, the same love holds true. Adam has been a constant support, showing acceptance, love and compassion from the beginning. He did not bat an eye when the diagnosis of Down syndrome was given, he just did what he does best as a father. Picked him up and loved him. I'm sure he has had some fear, some doubts, some questions, but they haven't gotten in the way of his love.
His constancy makes me a better mother. It also makes me understand God a little more. How God sees the imperfection, in some cases the mess, in us and just picks us up and loves us with all the love He has (which is pretty immense!). How He sees past a diagnosis or a label, because He's way bigger than that anyway, and sees the reality and the potential and is just happy to BE with us. You know, BE, just sit, just hold, just spend time and see how the story turns out, see how the journey goes. And how God looks forward to the time when He can have a little play time with us.