Monday, December 31, 2012

A Prayer For The New Year

Back when I was pregnant with Caedmon and we were waiting to see what his disabilities would look like and what we would be facing, I had a lot of fear. I was realizing in a new way that life was not controllable, no matter how hard I pretended it was. At any moment something so tiny could happen to throw your life whirling in a different direction: a car accident, a fall on the ice, a fire, a baby with a combination of special needs.

As I would go in at night to check on Damek and cover him up, since he would inevitably have kicked off all his blankets, I would stand in his room watching his peaceful, sweet face, and think about how much I wanted to protect him and how little I could actually control in this life.

One night the thought popped into my head of the Israelites in Egypt. Maybe we had just read that story for worship so it was fresh in my mind. Anyway, I thought of the families sprinkling the blood of the lamb on the doorposts of their homes so the destroying angel would pass by, and their firstborn would be saved. I thought, 'That's what I want for my firstborn. That destruction would pass over him, that he would be saved.' So I prayed, 'Dear Lord, please let the blood of the Lamb cover Damek. Please let the blood of the Lamb be on the doorposts of his heart and mind. That only things that are from You would be allowed in.'

I felt so much power in that prayer. It felt like the Holy Spirit was leading in it. That this is the exact prayer I should be praying for my child.

I started to pray it every night, not only over Damek but also over Caedmon, still growing inside me. I started to lay my hand gently on Damek's chest or back or just hovering over him as he slept. It continued to be so powerful to me. So, I started to pray it over Adam and I, then over our extended families, our church families, our friends, our neighbors, anyone who asked us to pray for them. It continues to be my nightly prayer.

This past Thanksgiving, as we were visiting in her home, my mom and I started to talk about how difficult parenting is. We talked about how often we can feel like we are failing. How often we make bad choices, say the wrong things, get caught up in the emotions of the moment, act rashly. My mom shared with me that she used to pray that God would protect her children from herself. That she knew she was messed up and didn't want to pass on her disfunction to her kids. She said, 'I prayed the blood of the Lamb would cover you.'

It brought tears to my eyes. I don't remember her ever praying that as a child. I remember her praying a lot, usually that God would help her find her lost keys or checkbook or various and sundry kitchen items but never that prayer.

I love when God leads multiple people down the same path. It's validation that the Holy Spirit is trying to do something, working on something significant. And I love it when He brings something to the forefront in an obvious, a ha kind of way.

So, as 2012 comes to an end, I pray this prayer for all of us in the coming new year. That the blood of the Lamb would cover us. That the blood would be on the doorposts of our hearts and minds in this new year. That only what is of God would be allowed in in 2013. Regardless of the crazy world we face, the difficulties and struggles, the joy and amazement, our hearts and minds may rest peacefully and squarely in the sure, steady peace of our Father.

May the blood of the Lamb cover you.

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