Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Woes Of Motherhood

Based on a true story:

If a mom notices a dirty floor chances are she's going to want to clean it.  She'll throw the toys in the toy box and go get the vacuum out of the closet.  When she pulls the vaccum out she'll notice that the canister is full, so she'll go to empty it in the trash can.  When she gets to the trash can she'll notice that it is completely full.  So, she'll pull out the full trash bag and take it out to the dumpster.  On her way to the dumpster, she'll see the baby pulling all the toys out of the toy box so she'll pick him up and put him in his highchair.  When she gets him in the highchair she'll notice that he's hungry so she'll give him a little snack and a cup of milk.  She'll hear a strange sound coming from the hallway so she'll investigate.  She'll discover the dog, digging into the trash bag she left sitting in the hallway.  So, she'll pick up the scattered garbage and make a second attempt to make it to the dumpster.  When she comes back in from the dumpster, she'll notice all the shoes and socks thrown around the entryway.  She'll tidy the shoes and take the socks to the dirty clothes basket.  She'll notice the basket looks rather full so she'll take it down to the laundry room to throw it in the washing machine.  When she walks in the laundry room she'll realize the lightbulb is burned out so she'll search through the drawers until she finds a bulb.  When she finally finds the stepladder, out in the backyard, under the swingset, and gets the lightbulb changed, she hears her preschooler calling that he's hungry.  So she'll head back to the kitchen, give the baby a little more to snack on and start making lunch.  As she's making lunch she'll realize the trashcan has no bag in it. So she'll put a new bag in the trash can.  A new trash bag will remind her of the therapy appointments her kids have that afternoon and that she needs to pack the bag. Hurrying to the kids' room to grab the bag, she'll trip over the vacuum cleaner.  Which will remind her, there is not enough time in the day.  And who cares about dirty floors?!

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