Original Blog Post: January 4, 2011- Washing Feet

Communion is celebrated in many different Christian denominations.  It can be a burden for some and it can scare some away but for me it has always been a powerful reminder of the price Jesus paid on the cross and who I am in Him. 

Our church combines a footwashing element with the bread and wine (juice, as the case may be), following Jesus' example with His disciples during the Last Supper (see John 13:4-14).  This is almost more powerful for me then the actual taking of the bread and wine.  There is such an honest humility and servitude that comes with washing another person's feet. 

I have witnessed and been a part of so many moving experiences during this part of the celebration.  There was the time when a friend I was at odds with crossed the imagined mountains between us and when we knelt before each other the mountains had miraculously been moved, times when those society would deem beautiful would seek out or be sought out by those our society would deem unlovely and as they washed away the dust of a summer day the labels would be washed away too, times when, as feet were washed, a song rose from the lips of many different generations into one voice and the barriers that kept us apart suddenly didn't seem so real or so important.  God moves at times like these.

This last Sabbath, as we celebrated New Years Day by observing the communion service, I was given the gift of the most meaningful footwashing service.  Adam and I took our children with us to the footwashing area so they could at least observe what we did even if they didn't want to or weren't ready to participate.  Our oldest watched and prayed with us then ran back to our seats in the sanctuary.  Our youngest watched quietly and just before we left the area he said, 'Do it too!  Me too!'  Adam and I looked at each other for a moment.  We both had to be up front, we both had leadership roles in the service.  We could easily have said, 'Not now, next time.'  But we couldn't.  We quickly took off his shoes, his braces, his socks. 
As Adam started to lower his little, crooked, spindly feet into the water my mind flashed to the story of the Pool of Bethesda.  John, in John 5, talks about this pool where all manner of people with disabilities would wait for the water to move.  The Amplified Bible, in verse 3, describes the people as 'some blind, some crippled, and some paralyzed (shriveled up)'.  It was believed that the angel of the Lord was moving the water and the first person to touch the water would be healed.  He goes on to describe a certain man who had been suffering for 38 years.  Jesus goes specifically to him, 'knowing he had been a long time in that condition' (verse 6) and asks him if he really wants to be healed.  The man doesn't even answer the question.  He complains about no one being there to help him get to the water.  In my mind, I hear the man's thoughts wondering if he sounds pitiful enough if this man and his friends will help him get to the water the next time it moves.  Surely with all these people he'll definitely make it first!  Then Jesus answers the true cry of his heart and heals him!

The point is, the man is touched not by the water of the pool but by the Living Water and instantly he is healed.  What is Jesus purpose for this man?  Why does He heal him?  In verse 14 it says Jesus found him in the temple later and points out that he is healed and tells him to stop sinning or 'something worse will happen'.  This is not a threat from Jesus, He's not saying, 'Shape up or else!'  He's letting him know there are worse things that could happen to you then being crippled for 38 years.  Do you see?  The purpose was not so he could have the few rest of the years of this life in relative ease and comfort but to change the direction of his life for eternity. 
This is what I wish for my boys.  That they would be touched by the Living Water and so realize that they are worthy and acceptable and capable because of Jesus love for them, not because of what they can or can't do, not because of the people they know or don't know, not because of their wisdom or skill or strength, but because they ARE, they exist. 
This is my wish for me too, and for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlwNoLmhPfM

Original Blog Post: December 23, 2010- A Grateful Heart

What does it mean to live thankfully?

I have just begun to realize how much I have taken for granted, how many blessings I have had and have and how oblivious I have been to them, wishing for that next great thing maybe or maybe wishing my life were different in some way, never fully appreciating life as a gift and seeing all the opportunities God takes to show His love.  In the last three years I have become amazingly aware of how much God has given me, how wonderful my life is, what an amazing family I have and an incredible husband that supports me and helps me grow better then I would ever be by myself. 

It's an irony, really, that these realizations would hit me now.  It's not as if our ship has come in or we have an amazing stockpile of wealth.  In fact, by the world's standards, we would probably be considered worse off then we were three years ago.  It reminded me of the verse in the Philippians 4 that talks about contentment:

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I never read the following verse, verse 13, or if I did I scanned it quickly and didn't allow it to sink in: I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.  The secret to finding contentment in anything.

This Christmas I just wanted to say thank you.  First, to the Lord for His rich blessings and abounding love.  Second, to all my friends and family who have somehow loved me through all my years of selfish and blind living.  I am just beginning to learn what generosity truly means and how to be a friend.  I hope I have many opportunities to show you over the many years to come.

Merry Christmas!

Original Blog Post: December 20, 2010- Joy To The World!

  The medical appointments have come to an end.  Caedmon has passed everything with flying colors, except needing to up his medication a bit but we can handle that.  He has an eye appointment in January and then we are done until spring check-ups.  We are looking forward to a peaceful Christmas and New Years at home.

I've been thinking about the year Caedmon was born and how we spent Christmas in the hospital and returned to the hospital a day after New Years.  Everything seemed like such a whirlwind and I prayed for a time we could be at home, together, as a family, and things would seem boring and routine.  I'm very grateful for that this Christmas!

We were able to save up for a special family Christmas gift, a new camera!  A Nikon, to be exact; I feel like I'm growing up.  So, yesterday while Daddy and Damek went ice skating with Santa, Caedmon and I took a nap and then played with our new gift.  Well, I played with the gift, he played the guitar.  Later, we caught some bedtime sillies.  Caedmon's laugh is a gift to the world!

Original Blog Post: December 14, 2010- More Tests

Trying to fit all the tests Caedmon needs before the new year makes for a very busy December!  We kick off this busy week with a three hour urodynamics study that will look at his kidney, bladders and pipes to make sure everything's flowing the right way and healthy.  We also get to see how well his medication is working and if he is on the right dosage.  All very good things to know!  Why they always schedule us during his naptime is a mystery and frustration to me, but he's a good natured guy and will keep smiling to the end, I'm sure.
We're still waiting a letter from the neurosurgeon with the results of last week's MRI.  We're not expecting any bad news but it will be nice to know what is going on with his spine and brain.  Tethered cord is always a possibility as there can be a lot of scar tissue where the back surgery occurred. 
We continue to enjoy our snow mountains.  Damek made a great sledding run in our neighbor's empty lot/snow storage area.  We plan to have a good afternoon enjoying the heat wave (10 degrees today, woo hoo!) and the winter landscape.

Original Blog Post: December 11, 2010- The Blizzard Of 2010

This week we have passed down the family head cold rather then blessings or an inheritance so it was perfect timing when the snow storm hit just as Adam and I were saying, 'How are we going to do anything at church this week, we can barely function?!'  Instead, our kids got to lead us in worship for a change.

Mostly because we can't seem to move off the couch, except to try to shovel out our drive whenever the snowplow comes by or our dog needs out.  I think the plow has actually given up because the last time I was out with the dog you couldn't even tell where the road was.  A neighbor told me, as we were digging his car out, that our little town is supposed to be the apex of the storm, we are slated to get the most snow.  Good thing I just made four batches of Christmas cookies yesterday, if nothing else they'll help us survive until we can get out of the neighborhood.

Here's the view from our house today.  Our 'front door' that actually faces the south has two large drifts in front of it and one above it.  The cars in our drive, the blury stuff is not because I was shaking but the snow whipping around in the wind.  We've actually scooped snow twice today but you can't tell at all.


Here is Caedmon's contribution to the worship service.  He's in love with the guitar and has actually given himself two sets of guitar blisters and begs to play more.  He's been playing a little everyday and seems to have some nice callouses starting so hopefully the blisters are done now.  I'm really hoping his love for music continues.

Original Blog Post: December 6, 2010- Happy Post-Thanksgiving!

We had a lovely trip out to Colorado to visit family this Thanksgiving.  We haven't been out in a year and a half so it was nice to see everyone and have Caedmon meet them.  He's still talking about Emmy, Cassie and Sam, his three cousins.  We did a few touristy things, Garden of the Gods, Colorado Creamery, driving up Cheyenne Mountain at sunrise.  (Maybe not the last one.)  And we got to meet Grandma's puppy.

We got home just in time to celebrate Caedmon's second birthday.  Yes, he's TWO!  I can't believe it!

This morning Caedmon is on his way to Children's for a scheduled MRI.  They're actually going to try not putting him completely under but instead using a drug that quickly wears off.  Always before they've been nervous because of his sleep apnea, but he appears to have grown out of or almost grown out of it.  We are praying everything goes very smoothly.  Here's a happy-Caedmon video from our trip, in honor of his birthday and to cheer mommy up as he goes to the hospital.

Original Blog Post: November 8, 2010- A Loooooong Day

Tomorrow is Caedmon's yearly check-up of all things internal.  He will have a CT scan followed by several ultrasounds to check his innards and make sure everything is working properly.  They will also be seeing if the medication he's on is helping his bladder fill to capacity or if they need to up the dosage.  All wrapped up in a pre-Christmas package is a trip to the spina bifida clinic to meet with all the doctors.  It will be a long day!

If you have a moment to say a prayer for Caedmon and his doctors tomorrow we would appreciate it so much.  A big thing for us, the parents, is the checking of fluid on his brain and the medos valve on his shunt to make sure it is operating properly and is at the right setting or if they should adjust it.  He hasn't had any problems that we can tell but I'm thankful that they schedule this yearly test to hopefully catch any issues before they become major problems. 

Speaking of shunts, I just learned a bit of the history behind how shunts were created and how this remarkable dad, with no medical training, wanted to save his son who had been born with spina bifida and in so doing has saved thousands of lives.  You can read the story here: http://mindhacks.com/2007/04/17/john-holter-brain-engineer/

We've also have just learned that at the beginning of December he will be going in for a full spinal and head MRI, during which Caedmon will have to be sedated.  I really don't do well when he has to be sedated.  I'm praying for some peace during that one!